Monday, October 4, 2010
As I walk my kids to class this morning, we collectively smile at the welcome change in weather, hug each other goodbye, then I walk out to my car to chit-chat with a good friend (and fellow mom at the school). She shares her glorious plan to go home, nap (crawl back into bed), and allow some much needed "me" down time. Amen, sister! I feel happy for her, relating to my own requirement for that kind of time for myself and thrilled to see my friend do the same for herself.
Today, however, my ambitious vision of my day looks much busier than hers, like a stop at Target for some necessary stuff, TJ's for food and fruit, then home for cleaning my bathrooms, floors, and tackling some of the clutter leftover from a week of being home with sick kids and my (bored) need to organize my closets. But, realizing I'm starving and I don't like shopping for food in that "dangerous" state, I head home for a quick bite to eat, with the intention of going right back out for errands. Only, once I'm home I remember how much I despise grocery shopping in the rain (it's up there with oil changes and teeth cleanings) and realize a nice breakfast with a cup of hot green tea and a little bit of tv while I clean up might be more in order.
I scroll through my dvr looking for a recorded show I can leave on in the background while I'm cleaning, and decide to finally watch a Live from the Artist's Den that I recorded last March. It features my absolute favorite singer/artist in the whole wide world, Patty Griffin. Geez, I don't know why I saved it for so long. Maybe the time never seemed right? Maybe I worried it would be boring? I've seen Patty live in concert four times for various album tours and she is an total pleasure and joy to watch. And, damn if I don't cry every time I see her! Heck, I don't even have to see her live; sometimes it's simply listening to one of her cd's (yep, I own all of them). Her angelic voice singing her beautifully sad and moving songs from the heart and they just, well, they just touch my soul.
So, I'm "watching" Patty sing as I'm doing this and that, but find myself not doing anything else but staring at the tv as I'm enthralled with her amazingness, reliving past concert experiences, most of them with my mom, and how we both cried during different songs as they touched us in different ways, and I'm simply enjoying the moment and nothing else. And then, like on queue, I start tearing up and crying as she performs one of her most haunting songs, "Sweet Lorraine".
Wow. I guess I needed a good cry and I didn't even know it.
It was then that I realize why I haven't watched this recording for seven months. I was waiting for today, on this quiet drizzly melancholic mellow first Monday of October day. This is all I really needed to do today.
It makes me smile (and ya, sometimes cry) when life reveals exactly what I need when I need it. Like when I'm at dinner with a friend who invited me and I realize how much I needed to get out and be social, or when my man rubs my surprisingly tight shoulders with a you-seem-really-stressed shoulder massage, or when I laugh so hard my eyes water as I hold my stomach and I realize it's been months since I laughed like that, I mean really laughed from deep down, and I feel much much better for doing it. Yep, today was just like that.
"Most everything means nothing, except some things that mean everything." - Patty Griffin
Posted by Daria