Three days ago I had a major breakthrough with my recent work on The Artist's Way. I'm talking epic. Life changing. Exciting! Yea for me!!! With the reason for my creative block realized, I'm now ready to take giant steps forward, right? Right?!? Only, well, ever since my revelation, I haven't touched my book. I have not picked up a pen and written a single thing. It's almost like I'm frozen with reluctance. And I have no idea why.
Perhaps it's because my son has developed a nasty cough/cold/minor fever thing for the last few days. You know, the kind of frustrating cough that lasts for an excruciating hour at least twice during the night and you just lay there and listen with heartbreak because there isn't much that can be done to help. I would pay big bucks for a cough remedy that actually works. Last night he was crying and moaning because he was so miserable with the nonstop cough. After several nights of this I'm just so so soooo tired.
Oh, and did I mention the particularly bad pms? Last month was a total breeze, you know, the kind when you get it and you are blissfully like "oh, I had no idea it was that time already?"...tra la la la la. Silly me thinking to myself that maybe this was a sign of things to come now that I'm almost, gasp, forty. But, noooo, oversensitive, overemotional, cranky, tired, craving massive amounts of sweets, avoiding my Artist's Way coursework me is getting the last laugh. Or tears is more like it.
And, AND!!, to top it off there is a scary lack of decent sweets in the house. Oh the horror!!! It's like going to change a baby's poopy diaper only to find out you already used the last one. Trust me, I would love to blame my husband or cat if I could, but it's all my fault - a total lack of proper preparation on my part.
What's a pms'ing girl to do? I can't exactly run to the store when I'm home alone with a sick kid. So, I dig in the waaaaay back of my pantry and find a box of backup emergency white cake mix. Whew! I'm saved!! Less than a grueling hour later (it feels like an eternity), my decadent custom chocolate covered white chocolate chip pudding pms cake is ready to eat, ehh, devour!!! OMG it tastes like the best cake ever made in history of my kitchen. I feel totally protective over it like a starving lioness who just killed her prey after hours of hunting only to be surrounded by a pack of hyenas. Stay away! Stay far far away or else! Roarrrrrrrrr!!!
I'm okay, right? This is perfectly normal behavior for a mostly rational woman? I'm allowed my moments of less than perfect weakness, aren't I? It could be waaaaay worse, I mean white cake isn't that bad since I only used egg whites. Oh, who am I kidding. I can't help but be reminded of the classic scene from Sex and the City where Miranda disgusts herself with overindulging in cake. It makes me laugh every time because I get it. I think most of us at one time or another has been there, too.
At least when we are grownups we can make cake for no reason other than to satisfy a crazy whim (my inquiring kids were wondering who's birthday it was). We can eat pizza for breakfast or pie for dinner or make your husband drive to Fatburger to get your favorite turkey burger and fries that will make it all better. A lot of adult life stuff does suck, but other times it has it's rewards, that's for sure.
I have to admit, though, that after eating MY cake and writing this post and "talking" it out and looking for a positive spin, I am newly inspired to turn off the computer and return to the coursework and deal with my creative block breakthrough. Since I'm home with my sick kid, the laundry is finished, the bills are paid, the cake is eaten, there is plenty on tv for him to watch, I honestly have no excuse to keep avoiding what truly is a huge blessing. It can't be wasted. The pms cake can (and should) go in the trash with a dose of dish soap, but not this. After all, it's only the beginning. I need to stop with the excuses. It's time to get back to work.