Wednesday, August 5, 2009

How's that workin' for ya?

As I do every day at the ungodly hour when the roosters and my children rise, I drag myself to the tv this morning to turn it on for the kids to watch a recorded show while I make coffee and become a functioning human being. The tv happens to be on the news showing the two American women reporters exiting the plan in Burbank and then gratefully hugging their families and heroes after their harrowing four month ordeal in N. Korea. Now, normally I would change the channel to protect the innocents, but I am riveted and emotional and moved after following their scary story all this time. I'm not sure if it was because they were women and a mother or just simply relishing in the beautiful history making moment, but it just strikes me as something I need to watch and try to explain to my kids in kidspeak: reporters made a boo-boo, very bad and mean leader, hard labor, make nice, peace is good, yea for Clintons and Obama, finally home to loving families. Tear. Yea. Coffee...

I guess after eight long years of my-penis-is-bigger-than-your-penis policy and it's better to be hardliners (we'll show them!) and invade and make war than talk with respect and make peace 'cause that's for the weak don't you know, it's just so miraculous to see such a positive outcome. Good news for a change in a sea of constant dire news!! And, now we elected a leader that leads by example by promoting dialogue and working on peaceful solutions...with respect. It's just so refreshing! I watched The View for a few minutes this morning to see what the panel would say about the release of these women. Joy commented "For years we didn't negotiate with N. Korea and they built up an incredible nuclear arsenal so I don't know that not negotiating with them was the right way to go". So, so true. By turning out backs the situation actually got worse. I love being able to use the phrase "how's that workin' for ya?" (but always wish later in retrospect that I remembered to use it dammit!) and I can't help but think about the quote from Mother Teresa: "I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there." I love that quote. She rocked!

As a mother of twins who actually get along pretty well and don't beat the crap out of each other every minute, but from what I understand, act with typical sibling bickering and fighting and general grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I definitely struggle with the seemingly constant battles of he said she saids and it's not fairs and stop its!!!!. While I'm all for peaceful solutions, sometimes I snap and get ugly, and sometimes it gets bad enough to make me cry in the bathroom and drink lots of red wine at nighttime. As an only-child who spent most of her childhood flying solo and fending for myself without any sibling competition or rivalry, I simply have no understanding of this constant need to be like magnets stuck to each other not being able to separate but totally getting on each other's nerves at the same time. I swear, I'll physically pull them away from each other and grit my teeth as one of those moms saying "JUST STAY AWAY FROM EACH OTHER FOR FIVE MINUTES (or I will totally lose my mind $!@#%*) OKAY!?" only to have them right back to buggin' each other again poking and licking and pointing and wrestling each other to no end. I guess it's better than the alternative of them not liking each other or not being close at all and like omg he's yucky and gross and boring. I sure hope that day never comes. Sigh.

Maybe it's just the universe showing me what I missed out on as a child. After all, I think those with siblings have a better understanding of how to get along with people and are certainly better at arguing (I suck at that). I'm guessing it's time for me to read some books on sibling rivalry to gain a better perspective on it all. And, thank goodness for friends with lots of siblings and/or multiple kids that can offer understanding, sympathy, and helpful suggestions. I would like to think that I'm more like Obama than not on most days, hoping they work it out on their own but only peacefully and diplomatically intervening when necessary. But maybe I'm just a regular ol' mom just trying to make it through the day-to-day challenges with some of my sanity left intact while raising two smart caring loving people to make the world a better and more peaceful place.


  1. Great post! I'm struggling too with my twins' constant need to be joined at the hip while at the same time arguing about who's better, faster, stronger, smarter . . . blah blah blah. I say the same things - Just get away from each other. But there seems to be an invisible magnet which just draws them close even when they're sick of each other.

    We do the best we can, right? And there's nothing wrong with a little wine!

  2. Perhaps our government leaders most times are not seperate identies but twins attempting to rule the universe on their own.

  3. I highly recommend Siblings Without Rivalry. Granted, this is an aspiration that we will never quite accomplish but it gives some great tips and tools to help when you have the patience to try!