Thursday, March 5, 2009

Getting back on track

When I wrote my last post a few days ago, I was beyond sleep deprived and on a speeding bullet train headed for the proverbial wall. As if I wasn't quite tired enough, the following night I took both children to urgent care after Talia's fever spiked to 104.3 and both had especially worrisome coughs. When we got home, I was completely spent, both emotionally and physically. I debated taking them since I'm such a believer in letting your body heal itself, even questioning my choice as we drove there, but I'm so glad I did. A bad flu diagnosis, prescription meds, and $220 later gave me peace of mind and no regrets.

With my coping skills hanging on by a thread, I remind myself that, although my ordeal was difficult, in the total scheme of things it's not that bad. That same day my husband was called to a fatal car crash where the victim was t-boned by a big rig. A co-worker just spent three nights in the hospital with her infant suffering from pneumonia. And, our friend's two teenage children are currently hospitalized from the painful effects of Sickle Cell Disease. Have you read the news lately? Ya, could be much much worse.

Yesterday and today I kept both children home from school for plenty of resting on the couch watching mostly quality tv, homemade soup, and long naps. I got many offers of help and concern and I feel thankful for that. Many well meaning people also urged me to take care of myself, too, but in my exhausted state I was actually a little annoyed at that. How can I take care of myself while I tend to two sick kids? Ridiculous. But, eventually I reached the point where I had nothing left to give. So, I powered off my work computer (which I rarely do during the day), put in a train dvd for Quinn, and curled up on the couch while Talia napped in her bed. I closed my eyes...and...slept...hard. I can't even begin to describe how good this felt. I should've done this much sooner before I got to my ugly place. But, like a typical mom, I was in automatic mode, thinking about everyone but myself: can't rest until they are better, guilty for keeping my kids out of school because it loses money, tell my well meaning callers that I'm fine and don't need anything, etc. This is not a competition for Super Mom of the Year!

All this taught me a good lesson - health and sanity comes first. The kids can miss more than one day of school in a row because they won't kick us out and it's more important that my kids fully recover. When I start feeling sleep deprived I must make time to rest, after all, I have the luxury of being home so I need to take full advantage of that. In fact, a weekly nap will be mandatory on my schedule from now on (aaah, a Wednesday humpday nap is sounding delightful). And, since I loved that people offered help, I need to make sure I do that for others when they are in the same boat. It's the best medicine to know that people care, plus I make really good soup if I say so myself.

What's next? Well, right now I can see the glorious warm sun shining on my beautiful blooming birds of paradise, I'm feeling rather chipper (ignoring the icky feeling in my throat) and more like myself (finally) after a nap and a good night sleep, my kids are on the mend, and I found the m.i.a. R2D2 after an intense search. Hey, it's not winning the state lottery or getting a new job offer, but I'll take it.

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