The more fluffy tv I watch, the more I start to get an unrealistic perception of reality and feel less and less okay with myself. The message is that if I have shiny hair, no glasses, hip clothes, a tan, and big boobs then I will feel sexy and fabulous. I know. I know. That all comes from within and your inner beauty and confidence is what matters, because that's why we like beautiful Betty. But, when I'm in a stuffy yucky feeling miserable state of mind watching beautiful people all day, I just can't help it . I have to remind myself that Wilhelmina character on Betty is ruthless, evil, and terribly lonely, Rebecca Romijn is,well, just naturally blessed, and the Atlanta girls never seem satisfied and treat each other like crap.
I went to dinner the other night with some new mom friends from school. There was me - feeling blah and boring, with blemishes on my forehead, dark roots, and barely able to keep up with the lively and personal (and a bit raunchy) conversation with these confident (I'm sure never self conscious - ha ha ha) sexy women. They were held very little back and seemed so happy be out of the house, free to relate and be uninhibited in safe female company. They even talked orgasms and foreplay with the more than happy young male waiter! It was a bit intimidating, but also exhilarating. Honestly, I know we all have our insecurities and times in our lives when we feel less than spectacular. The things that we talked about that night are the same challenges that we all face as women, wives, mothers, friends, etc. And, I have to think, if I lived the lives of those Atlanta housewives, wouldn't I be more self conscious than I am now? When you place so much value on appearances, are you constantly worried about not looking perfect or keeping up with the latest and greatest? That's a lot of work and energy! Those women may have perfect hair and stylish wardrobes, but nothing about them made me want to be their friend. Ya, maybe I should start caring a little more about how I look and shopping less at Target for my wardrobe. I get that sometimes we all need a little shake-up in our appearance and style, but I also have to be okay with me regardless of how I look. Experiencing the magic of a great night out with friends, relating and laughing and being honest, that's better than diamond bangles and perfectly manicured nails. That's real life and I feel rich for it.