Friday, August 15, 2008

Not meant to be

We had a much needed family getaway planned for Big Bear this weekend. Had is the key word here.

First, it was supposed to be Thursday to Sunday, but decided to change it to Friday to Monday to accommodate a New Family Orientation at the new school Thursday night. This meant I had to regrettably cancel going to a 'Get to Know You' pool party/gathering on Sunday for some of the new families at the new school, and I'd have to cancel dinner Monday night with a beloved long-time friend that it took over a month to nail down for some time together.

Then during the week, there were just little things that made me go "humm, this isn't feeling right".

It began with Talia being sick starting last weekend, which always means that next Quinn gets it a little worse, then me, then Jason. Not good.

Then Monday my car battery died.

Then I got slammed with this huge project that HAS TO BE DONE ASAP and this whole thing rests on my shoulders to complete ASAP and I'm feeling the pressure big time. And, I cried.

Oh wait, there's more. My mom's house got violently broken into while I was out shopping for the trip yesterday. The thugs kicked in her sliding patio door, spraying glass everywhere and frightened the poodle Buddy half to death. Fortunately, my mom wasn't home and they didn't hurt the animals. But, needless to say, she's a total wreck still in shock.

So, now I'm torn here because it just feels like this trip is going against gravity or throwing off the planets or something. I stand in the hallway, close my eyes, raise up my arms, and say out loud "Okay Universe, are you trying to say something here? I'm not quite sure, so if we should not go to Big Bear, then please send me one more very obvious sign so I will know for sure. Thank you. Namaste." Then I told Jason my dilemma that if we do end up going to Big Bear and there is some major earthquake and I'm laying there trapped under rustic cabin rubble breathing my last breath, I will be thinking about the fact that I should have listened to the Universe and stayed the f!@#$% home!
So, I go to the school orientation that night by myself (my mom was supposed to child-sit), which I can handle, but then I come home to word that Quinn has a bad fever and is totally miserable. As we are sitting there talking about it, Quinn gets up to pee and stands there crying that horrible pathetic feverish cry. When Quinn cries and gets that face, it's all over for me.
I have no doubt this is the sign I was looking for. Trip cancelled.
And, if all that wasn't bad enough? Today is a full moon.

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